Annals of the Obvious

News flash! The recession is still kicking nonprofits' asses. 

The percentage of nonprofits that have resorted to layoffs, broad-based programmatic reductions, and reserve draw-downs has increased measurably.

Really, this is what counts as news? Where ya been, buddy? For months, analysts have been saying that the crappy economy would have a slow ripple effect on nonprofits. Even though for-profits were suffering a year ago, grants to nonprofits had already been funded. (Nothing's worse for corporate image than retracting a grant...) It was the next funding cycle -- right now -- where 501c3s would take a hit. 

And it's happened. The Bridgespan study says that, as a result,  6 out of 10 nonprofits now have contingency plans. In other words, the glass is 60% full with what-ifs for the next great recession. If only we could add some vitamins to that water... 

With this kinda help...

With everything going so crappily  for, well, everyone, it's time to give another look to ... volunteers?

Apparently so. The New York Times ran this article recently. Here's a quick summary: with so many upper-management sorts out of work (and out of sorts), why not get them helping out with nonprofits, those organizations sometimes known for their lack of organization. Out-of-work execs get to feel productive, and nonprofits get free management expertise. Everyone wins! What could go wrong? 

Of course, anyone who's ever worked with volunteers is chuckling nervously right now, counting the ways volunteers make their work lives more difficult. My favorite is how there's inevitably that one sketchy guy volunteer -- one who shows too much chest hair, or makes too much eye contact, or won't make your gaze at all. He's probably not a perp like he's typecast on Law and Order, but he's just awkward enough for you not to want him around. At all.

But my main problem is that the New York Times made an ass out of you and me by assuming nonprofit managers want the sort of bona fide expertise the laid off for-profit world can offer. Sure it can be hard to find people who consistently want to spend the night in a homeless shelter with people who are often mentally ill, not to mention stinky. But I'm not convinced it's ever been hard to find for-profit execs excited to yap their pie holes at you about what could be done better. 

Rather, I think we non-profit folks sometimes just don't want to hear. We don't believe for-profit management offers any usable lessons for us. After all, we have heart and aren't evil and OF COURSE Mr. Corporate Sold-His-Soul won't ever understand our idiosyncratic filing system, much less our crappy accounting. We take pride in our lack of professionalism because somehow it shows we're homespun and care about the work more than the job.

Silly NY Times for thinking you could change us. Joke's on you! Right?